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im a head chef♥
JUGEMテーマ:日記・一般
 



 
just my life☆ | comments(2) | trackbacks(0)
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女孩子
JUGEMテーマ:日記・一般
活到現在 第一次覺得 學歷決定一切。
不管是事業上或是愛情上。


誰說女子無才便是
我現在就覺得我要很多很多的才
我沒有像現在那樣想要考研究生過吖
進了世博局 身邊都是人才
突然就覺得自己好差勁
我不喜歡被排在最底下的感覺



上外研究生一大批
這才是我夢想的事
外表 真的有那麼重要嗎
也許我能質疑這點是因為我從來沒有為我的外表操心過
但以前的我非常注重自己的外表
減肥 化妝 衣服
覺得每天把自己打扮的漂漂亮亮的是最重要的
因為總覺得不知道什麽時候自己的白馬王子才會出現
但是現在我發現因為我漂漂亮亮的妝容才喜歡我的男生真的是很膚淺。



媽媽說覺得我長大了
我也這麼覺得
有時候回憶就會覺得 「哇真的長大了耶~换做是以前才不会这样做呢」
可能刚出社会
对于一切都很有热忱
想做事。想做好。觉得到处都是机会。



但是碰到一個人
這個人非常優秀很有能力
長的很普通脫下西裝感覺是個用功讀書的不和異性接觸的書呆子
looks surprisingly good in tux.
這個人脾氣很差but not in an unreasonable way
因為ta實在是特別特別的忙
ta对我不错对我称赞有加
仅此而已。



如果我再早些懂事哪怕早那么一点点
如果我有多些坚持的毅力
如果我早些就能明白什么是我想要的
也许現在我就能有多些底氣
也許現在事情會有不一樣的進展of course in a good way
因為ta很優秀所以ta對別人的要求也非常的高
got bummed all of a sudden



我想變得更強一些
要能獨擋一面
我要變得氣量更大一些
要能處變不驚
我想變得更濃一些
要讓未來的他細細品味



現在雖然真的很忙很累很受氣
但是我要堅持爲了未來爲了獨立爲了夢想
也許我真的不是小女人
也許我真的有些事業野心
但是至少我不會傷害別人我和她不一樣
現在的我像處在兩個世界的衔接口
我將要進入的是一個與我本性有些悖斥的世界
im still going in cuz i know its good for me.



GO LILY!!!
HARDWORKING!!!
just my life☆ | comments(0) | trackbacks(0)
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first day at work
JUGEMテーマ:日記・一般
i got fever on the first day at work.
how great is that huh?!

had an important conference this morning
i was rlly attentive
five pages` report
more than any notes at school except for higher mathematics
it always has a lot to take down
n this afternoon supposed to be rlly boring
but luckily there was a lecture abt arbitration
learnt a lot.
btw  the speaker is a goodlooking french guy
the interpretress sucks
the interpretor is good
i realized i would get to know a lot abt doping or CAS or ICAS or sth i couldnt even retell the name
honestly the theory is boring
but the cases re classy n interesting
n thank god he`s a handsome guy wiz a nice voice
lol just kidding


life there is rlly great
its an awesome place its at ppls`square after all
the elevator is so topnotch
u cant press the button without "bi" the inductive card
n i got to know all the executive leaders at sports field 

but frankly i dun hav much to do there
without conferences ill just sit n sit n sit in two weeks
i bet id be rlly good at sitting then



food there is expensive but kinda delicate
10yuan for a lunch
4 dishes  rice  soup  fruit  yogurt
it wouldnt hurt to try for the first time
but for ever...eh..well
there ARE so many 「seducers」out there


i got a rlly funny morning
i rlly am getting sillier|||
i took line2 but got off at the wrong stop
i cant be late at the first day 
so i arrived there by motorcycle in the end
that was an impressive experience...囧rz


id better off to bed now
my throat hurts so bad
secret garden | comments(0) | trackbacks(0)
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just my life☆ | comments(3) | trackbacks(6)
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my life sucks
JUGEMテーマ:日記・一般

ugh...i must be caught in bad luck or sth.
GEE!!!!!!
he`s such a jerk!!!
i dont like him. rlly dont.
damn u pro.


wot`s ur whole point
i cant make it?
im soooo not qualified?
k u know wot? im gonna prove it to u
im gonna throw a whole speech back to u!! on ur face!!
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit


u even dont know when does that exam start
how can u tell me we dont need a tutor??
all the teachers from ECNU were wrong, the only right person is u.
hahaha. very funny.
in ur opinion, i do handwriting practises but i dont need a teacher.
does that mean i write an essay, i even dont know which part is great which part is bad how many grammar mistakes did i make which phrase would be better
even then i can still make a progress?!
maybe wiz the whole passage`s mistakes?!
ugh..i rlly wanted to ask u "wot were u thinking"


he`s just arrogant
but he should be.
cuz he is powerful now. he controls a lot.
so he probably didnt see me as a guest or as a certain person
that`s why i hate him



i decide my life!!! that`s my life!!!
it sucks but im gonna enjoy it!!!
u hav no right to interfere it.
maybe i was being a brat wanting sth i cant have
but im gonna take it seriously
n i trust myself.
this is wot i want. wot im interested in. so iwill everything to achieve that.
i wont let some stranger change my dream.



n..i wanna say srry
i cant blame u.
its bcuz of u tho...
i did regret to be wiz u. but i cant all blame u.
i should partly blame myself.
i ruined this i know it.
so im never gonna do the wrong thing twice



next time i meet u Mr.Arrogent
im sure it is me being a-SISU-master-kinda way.
i swear!!!!!!!!!!!
we`ll see!!
secret garden | comments(2) | trackbacks(3)
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❤Love Diary❤ Pros n Cons of my bf---没办法忘记的BF`s BADNESS
JUGEMテーマ:日記・一般

the things i cant let go.

its not easy to write all the bad stuff abt my bf.

i just wanna know others feelings after reading them

 

事件一: the one wiz Chicago

08年7月我们开始约会。那时在必胜客打工 一星期休息2-3天

但每周都会抽一天和他出去玩。看电影 吃晚饭 最cheesy的约会方式但是也乐在其中

天天聊天到2点,暧昧期。

we cuddled when we was seeing a movie but he never held my hand. N he never talked abt our relationship.

i saw him as my bf that time, although i knew he was going to US

but i dun care. i liked him soooo much.

so i waited him to ask me to be his gf. n no pressure to him at all but he didnt do that.

then he left.

他到了美国之后我们仍然保持联系,感情很好,期待着他的回国。

没过多久我男朋友就和我说他要去Chicago旅游和他班级里的同学2个人一起去。

还跟我说本来两个人去他宾馆什么都订好了 现在突然多了几个人 是他同学的朋友

那帮人意见很杂嫌订的宾馆太贵 要退换便宜的宾馆睡 但是退宾馆订金就没有了

所以他在考虑是订金便宜还是去便宜宾馆省下来的钱便宜。他跟我抱怨很麻烦

那时单纯的我只是安慰他并相信他可以做到的。

去Chicago4天,每天都只是短短时间的QQ聊天,早上他出门之前和晚上他回来之后

有时只是几句话他就不回了 在外旅游嘛 正常的。

他回美国后不久他前女友发了一篇日志名叫Chicago. 那时候看到名字我还奇怪呢 想怎么最近大家都去芝加哥玩了 不会是碰到了吧

看完整片日志才知道 什么同班同学都是假的 他一个从ARIZONA飞到CHICAGO 和他EX汇合,当然还有他EX的朋友们。

他们一起玩了四天 很多照片 我看了人都傻掉

发QQ质问他的时候他的态度无敌冷淡 就是“恩 对啊 和她一起去的”一副理所当然的样子

让我感觉他都没觉得自己做错什么 狠的不得了 我难过的是饭都要吃不下

还看到他和他EX的留言对话说什么想看看她这次旅行的VERSION

感情既然那么好为什么暑假还要和我搞不清楚?!

因为暑假他EX在香港不在上海无聊了?寂寞了才找我的?

后来才知道真的是因为这样

他8/15离开上海 她8/10飞回上海

5天再上海的交集他们怎么会放弃呢

他们出去了一次一起吃了晚饭 在他送她回家的时候他们kiss了。

我不知道他们是哪一天出去的 也许前一天他还和我出去了呢 我们还抱着一起看电影呢 第二天他居然能去K他EX?? 虽然我知道他对她是很难忘记 相恋2年 他EX提出分手 he was rlly sad but i still can see that 他对我真的是没有一点感情

可惜领悟到这点已经是很久以后的事情了。

 
secret garden | comments(0) | trackbacks(2)
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i dunno
JUGEMテーマ:日記・一般

i dunno.
rlly dun.
we started over.
it supposed to be good.
but y...i cant feel sweet any more.
im afraid to think abt her.
just a tinny tiny clue abt her can totally freak me out.
ugh...


JiaLi said wot he did is totally not gonna help.
its like saying sorry AFTER slap sb.
maybe he`s right.
all of my friends want me to break up wiz him. 
Z even started to set me up.
wot a shame that di guy`s not my type.
or none of the males is my type any more.
i lost the way to appreciate guys.


i pretend to be happy.
pretending im not upset at all.
but i AM upset...
he makes me feel so insecure.


is he the guy i can spend my whole life wiz?
a guy cant lose his ex even for me.


I feel terrible.
everytime i think of him or her i feel nauseous.
every word he said made me feel that he`s not happy.
he feels bad bcuz of losing her.
i know maybe im too paranoid again.
but when he said " ok ill tell u the time she contacts me"-----"if she can find me" i almost smelt the scent of despair.
i feel hes being cold to me.
i cant feel the heat. didnt we just start over?
y all i can feel is sad,upset n helpless?
there is no way to work it out.
his "happy" msgs dont seem to be happy to me.
i felt he was pretending he`s happy.
he doesnt want me to know that he`s sad abt losing her.
.......who said he lost her already btw.
actually he already remembered her phone number by his heart.
to his words, this number wouldnt be forgotten maybe in rest of his life.



maybe i should break up wiz him.
i started having nightmares everyday.
i lost my appetite again.
nothing can stimulate my stomach nothing can cheer me up.
ugh....wot m i gonna do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel so sad.....
i cant even focus!!!
im sad when im eating, reading, writing, walking, bathing, even watching friends..


who can help me?
who can help me!!!
its like a poison killing me slowly.


after reading her diary
i dont feel like i know English.
i felt so lose.


im soooo gonna get SISU now.
maybe the motivation is not that right
but i swear.
ill get SISU in 2 yrs.
i dont believe i cant do it.
i can lose my luv but never my career.
secret garden | comments(0) | trackbacks(4)
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wot is luv exactly
JUGEMテーマ:日記・一般
 wot is luv?!
im so confused.
ex is that important for u?
u cant lose her but me?

I M not believing u. Rlly not
but do u know y?
hav no idea?
oh let me give u some hints
wot abt the time u went to Chicago wiz her n told me u went there wiz ur male friends from ur school?
wot abt the whole summer we dated all the time but when she came back to Shanghai u guys still kissed?
wot abt after were together u still using her bday date for ur passwords to..um..EVERY web u hav to login?
wot abt the time friends hang out together she was there too. u spoke to her all the time but didnt even hav a word wiz me? I m ur GF!! But u couldnt talk to me couldnt walked wiz me in front of her!! u just walked wiz her chatted wiz her.
wot abt u said u dont like me enough to give her up?
is this a sentence said by a man who loved his girlfriend?



i konw u cant do that
u think its wrong
but when she deleted YAN`s number u didnt say anything to her anyway
so this is different.
im not gonna force u.
i just want myself know how much u like me.
when i ask u "u cant be a stranger to her 4ever so ud rather break up wiz me. u know we wont be friends after our breakup. so ure saying u choose her as ur 4ever friend but not me? u choose her or me?"
u were soooooo hesitated.
OMG to this question u even need time to think? im ur girlfriend who u said u were deeply in luv with. she, by ur words is only a common friend.
i know u dont luv me. u just like me.
since u said sorry n u rlly didnt do those cheating things
im gonna give u another chance. n also me too
ill grab my chance do my best.
i like u i rlly do.
during the time we broke up. i cried too hard that i threw up.
i felt cold even if today`s 19°c. my hands cant stop shivering.
then i knew i cant be wizout u.
no matter wot u think im gonna be nice.


she got her chance n she blew it
its my turn. there`s no reason for her to get back being a bitch who stuck in our relationship. her turn is over. n she herself ended it.

wow i just realize
im not some kind innocent girl at all.
im totally Blair. lol
maybe next time u google "revenge" itll show u "Blairwordolf.com n Lily.com" LOL


i hope everything works out for us. 
secret garden | comments(0) | trackbacks(1)
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I Don`t Get It
JUGEMテーマ:日記・一般

I dont get it..really..
why?!
it has been sooo long time
it was winter n its summer!!!
why cant we just be friends?


i thought we were friends actually
he texted me normally
give me the admission ticket
woo...i thought he was nice
n his nice gesture just let me think about him again
i did recollect lots of memories when we belonged with each other.



today i opened my qq
i seldom use it recently (always on MSN)
i havent opened it almost a month
i just want to see how`s everthing going wiz him
but i cant find him in my friends list
shocking!!
i doubt whether i forgot his ID or something
the last thing i want to accept is he deleted me
great!!!!!
then i realized i didnt see him on xiaonei either
huuh
guess wot i found?
he delected me either
wow
fine!!!!!!!!!!!



i cant believe he did that...
wow that is soooooo immature i think..
i didnt do anything to him for a long time
that ticket is him who gave to me 
i never texted him first
i never spoke to him first
i never went to his xiaonei first
i gave him an entire space to move on to forget me 
all i want is be friends with him .... forever
forever friendship only!!!!!!
N it is him who wrote the diary called"it`s time to move on"
n through his messages
i think he was just over me




That is him
typically
wot he said to me is totally different wiz wot he really thought
everytime
he wants to be nice n in front of me he acted like he is totally fine totally cool
but he isnt that cool
he is...really not cool...
alright...i admit... i had a problem to judge ppl
i really cant see much into a guy
i only see the appearance
my father was right
next time i find a bf  i hope i can know him deeply
i do want a cool a nice a mature bf...



Holy C
really shocking...
i cant believe...
i just cant believe he did that..
wow...he really lets me down...
i cant believe i used to date wiz him
next time i do need open my eyes!!
 
just my life☆ | comments(1) | trackbacks(29)
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I m Not Lucky Any More
JUGEMテーマ:日記・一般
some ppl miss di bus
some ppl miss di train
some ppl miss di TVshow
N some STUPID ppl miss the CET6 examination.


WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i left my house at 13:45
i thought it was early enough...but...


n today i do think we really should control the population.
Family Planning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
omg..the fucking heavy traffic jam got me
it took me 40mins to get to XUJIAHUI
Damn it
n i only had 20yuan in my wallet.
absolutely not enough to afford di cab
well...how ironic
maybe i m too thrifty these days
i didnt put a lot of money in my wallet coz the more i put in the more i would use
i had 18000 in my bank account but i still cant afford a cab.


i texted CYL
he told me to get a cab when i got xujiahui it only cost 18yuan
i jumped off the bus n rushed into a cab
n then stuck in di traffic jam...........................................



it was 15:00 when the cab arrived di school gate
n i ran to B3
13:05
5mins late
the door was locked
two girls shouted.
i dunno wots going on
i heard one of them crying, knocking at the door all the time
i knocked too
>>LET ME IN!! i shouted
2men smiled n shook their head
>>NO WAY they said
>>WHY?! I CAN STILL GET IN AS LONG AS IN 15MINS. IT`S ONLY 15:06 NOW
>>CAN U READ?? U CANT GET IN AFTER 15:00 THE START TIME IS 14:45. DONT U HAVE READING ABILITY?
they satirized...
i cant say a word
i lost myself there...
two girls already gave up
i kept on knocking
they just totally ignored.
it was hard to accept the fact
when i decided to leave, i wept at once, with sudden, wild abandonment.
i called my mum wiz tears. she worried a lot.
i chilled out on the bus back home by di scenes
i saw trees, birds, fancy shops n all kinds of ppl
it silhouettes leaves on the pond
birds flying..as if i can hear the sparrows were twittering in the eaves
there were patches of grey sky showing here n there through the dark clouds that had met n piled one above the other out of my bus window
it would rain cats n dogs soon i thought
i thought a lot on the bus.
from the first time i took the CET6 exam to today.
to lift the veil
I M STUPID.
i lost my chance
to bespeak that my english is way better than before.
i m not lucky any more...
i told myself to calm down
to be nice
n i m very much chilled out here...
i m soooooooooooo calm now.
extremely calm.

SON OF THE BITCH U FOOLISH TWAT DOOR KEEPER!!!!!!!!!!!!
SCREW UR RULES!!!!!!!!!!!


i M really calm.



just my life☆ | comments(1) | trackbacks(4)
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