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i dunno
JUGEMテーマ:日記・一般

i dunno.
rlly dun.
we started over.
it supposed to be good.
but y...i cant feel sweet any more.
im afraid to think abt her.
just a tinny tiny clue abt her can totally freak me out.
ugh...


JiaLi said wot he did is totally not gonna help.
its like saying sorry AFTER slap sb.
maybe he`s right.
all of my friends want me to break up wiz him. 
Z even started to set me up.
wot a shame that di guy`s not my type.
or none of the males is my type any more.
i lost the way to appreciate guys.


i pretend to be happy.
pretending im not upset at all.
but i AM upset...
he makes me feel so insecure.


is he the guy i can spend my whole life wiz?
a guy cant lose his ex even for me.


I feel terrible.
everytime i think of him or her i feel nauseous.
every word he said made me feel that he`s not happy.
he feels bad bcuz of losing her.
i know maybe im too paranoid again.
but when he said " ok ill tell u the time she contacts me"-----"if she can find me" i almost smelt the scent of despair.
i feel hes being cold to me.
i cant feel the heat. didnt we just start over?
y all i can feel is sad,upset n helpless?
there is no way to work it out.
his "happy" msgs dont seem to be happy to me.
i felt he was pretending he`s happy.
he doesnt want me to know that he`s sad abt losing her.
.......who said he lost her already btw.
actually he already remembered her phone number by his heart.
to his words, this number wouldnt be forgotten maybe in rest of his life.



maybe i should break up wiz him.
i started having nightmares everyday.
i lost my appetite again.
nothing can stimulate my stomach nothing can cheer me up.
ugh....wot m i gonna do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel so sad.....
i cant even focus!!!
im sad when im eating, reading, writing, walking, bathing, even watching friends..


who can help me?
who can help me!!!
its like a poison killing me slowly.


after reading her diary
i dont feel like i know English.
i felt so lose.


im soooo gonna get SISU now.
maybe the motivation is not that right
but i swear.
ill get SISU in 2 yrs.
i dont believe i cant do it.
i can lose my luv but never my career.
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| 新台狙い | 2009/12/07 6:03 PM |
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| 池ちゃん | 2009/12/14 5:02 AM |
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